Habit-building

Re-Evaluating Your Goals and Maintaining a Positive Mindset!

If you're not hitting your goals, it may not be the goal that needs to change, but instead, your mindset and methods! The "Re-evaluating Your Goals" freebie can help!
Mom Improvement Presents: Re-Evaluating Your Goals

Re-Evaluating Your Goals

We’ve taken the last few posts to make some small improvements to your life. Your focus should still be your 28 Day Goal, and you should be giving yourself time each day to make that a priority. We also gave you the opportunity to set yourself some small daily priorities that give you some structure and balance.

After you’ve practiced those things for a few days, you should be re-evaluating and helping yourself to fix any problems. That’s what we’re going to work on today.  We will be re-evaluating the process and continuing to problem-solve to help yourself feel less stressed and more mindful! And I’ve made yet another freebie to help you do just that!

What’s Going Well?

Take some time to be positive! Before you can get down on yourself, make sure to look at everything you’ve accomplished.

The top section of your worksheet gives you space for 10 good things. Fill in all ten spaces! You don’t need to dig deep here- even getting yourself dressed, making your daily coffee or tea, or feeding your children counts towards your successes! My most successful mindful moments are the times in which I take a few seconds to focus on life’s small happy moments. Did you share a good laugh with the kids? Take them on a fun outing? Play a fun game or play outside? Give yourself credit and praise for all your hard work. Errands, housework, play time, anything you did for yourself. It all counts for your list! Write them all down and then read it back to yourself and take some time to feel pride. This is a part of mindfulness, too!

 Keeping flexibility and re-assessing your goals is an important part of the process! This will help!

What Isn’t Working Quite Yet?

Be gentle and honest with yourself about what you still want to change. Start with your 28 Day Goal– how is it going?  How is your tracking? Do you need to change what time you work on your goal or for how long? Does your tracker need to move to a place where you will see it more readily and remind yourself to work on it? Take a few minutes to look at your progress, then brainstorm and problem-solve how to keep working towards it. Do you need more resources, ideas or help? Figure out what you need and where you can get it.

Now think about your daily time-block priorities. Do they need to change? Did you get them done? Do you need to re-configure the timing or change when and how you complete them? More research and brainstorming! And always remember the alternative: you can cut down your priority list to two things for each time block instead of three. If you have been feeling overwhelmed or frustrated, cut down on your work load. Take a look at what you’ve been doing and what you’ve been trying to do, and ask yourself that crucial question, “How can I help myself?” Those answers are the first and best place to start.

The only way to get where you want to be is to keep trying and doing your best!
Don’t Give Up! Keep Trying!

Patience and Perseverance May Be What’s Required

If you’ve been having some success, but you’re just not quite 100 percent yet, then your process of re-evaluating may not need to be particularly intense. If you think you’re on the right track and you just need more practice with mindfulness, that’s totally OK! You can give yourself time and patience! Sometimes creating habits is simply a matter of taking the time to do them consistently. Consistency will come with mindfulness and intention. If you’ve picked something you really want to do, but you’re having a hard time actually doing it, you may simply need to keep trying. If you don’t need more information, more support or reminders, then all that’s left is to breathe and focus.  Take the time in your day to do what you need to do!

The most helpful thing you can do is to practice as many days in a row as you possibly can. This will do 2 things- it will give you the pride of accomplishment and it will help you get adjusted to this new routine, which is the same as creating a habit. One of the worst excuses you can make is “I don’t have time”, because the truth is, if it’s something you care about, you will make the time. This is where an accountability partner or your partner/spouse/SO can help you. If you have someone with whom you’re checking in on a regular basis, then you might be more motivated to do your task.

Daily Self-Care Routines are often very effective if they include positive affirmations, belief in yourself!
Breathe and Focus on a Positive Message

Don’t Give Up; Create an Affirmation

Remember that your attitude can have a tremendous amount of power over your success. In addition to mindfulness, positivity is a huge component of a successful mindset. Give yourself a small “mantra” to say each day, either before or after you work on your goals. Giving yourself permission to change, to improve, to take time for yourself, can be very freeing. Especially if you are prone to guilt about taking for yourself when you have others to care for. I understand those feelings immensely.

But here’s what I also know to be true- something I talked about in my very first post- you will be a better mom if you are a happier mom. Constantly taking from yourself and giving to others will only lead to a deficit in your own personal satisfaction with life. Affirm your desire to create your best “self”, and then you can be your best self for others!  Affirmations can be anything; a positive word or phrase, an inspirational quote that you keep by your front door and read each day before you leave the house, the options are limitless.

What do you need from me?

My next question is very simple- what other ideas and suggestions do you want from me?  We’ve come this far together, we are working hard on small change, building consistency, and making time for self-care!  So, what’s next?  Leave me a comment to let me know what tools you are looking for.  More worksheets?  A podcast?  Posts about specific goal-setting obstacles and how to overcome them?  Let’s keep building momentum together!  And don’t forget to download the freebie!\

Setting a 28 Day Goal (or how I learned to do the dishes)

I'm setting a 28 day goal to change my life and I'm going to track my change one day at a time!
Mom Improvement Presents: Setting a 28 Day Goal

In my last post, I talked about setting a goal and creating your path to completion, and I gave you a worksheet to help!  Now, it’s time to talk about the benefits of making your goal a “28 Day Goal”.  This will help you be more successful and intentional with whatever it is you plan to do!  If this post makes you want to change any of your answers in the last worksheet, or set a different goal, or change your methods for achieving your goal, that’s no problem!  You can always print out a new worksheet to revise your plan!

Small Goal, Big Surprise

Sometimes big life changes come in small packages.  In my last post, I mentioned that I took 90 Day Budget Boot Camp.  I can’t recommend it highly enough.  I feel like I’m a pretty darn good budgeter and I still learned so much.  PS- I’m not paid to recommend that course, I do so because it’s just a great course!

Probably the biggest, most beneficial takeaway of the whole camp was the “do your dishes” assignment.  The rules were simple: at night, after dinner, you had to clear your sink.  Run the dishwasher, do the dishes by hand, Rosemarie didn’t care how, it just had to get done.

Are you skeptical?  I totally was.  How were my dishes- dirty or clean- impacting my budget?  How was getting them done going to help me pay down our credit cards?  While the direct correlation between budget and dishwasher might be hard to draw… it really does make a HUGE difference in… life.  A clean sink is a major benefit for my psyche.

My life changed when I started this goal- get my dishes done every night, no matter what!
Washing dishes for a better tomorrow!

It’s not actually about the dishes

When I come downstairs to make breakfast in the morning and stare into my beautiful, clear sink, the entire day becomes more manageable.  The clear sink, in this case, represents my clear mind.  I’m free to brew coffee, fill the Brita pitcher, make breakfast, run water.  But I’m also feeling the pride of sticking to a commitment.  Between my husband and I, the dishes are getting done every single night.  That requires a level of discipline we didn’t really have before.

I’m guessing, if you’re looking for solutions to life’s messy problems, that discipline isn’t something that’s super high in your skill set either.  That’s nothing to feel bad about.  I feel like the laziest, most undisciplined person of all time sometimes.  The key to changing your attitude is to change your method.  And that’s what today’s freebie is all about.

Creating daily accountability

The goal you’re working on right now is one small piece of your daily pie.  You picked one thing about your life that made you unhappy, and now we’re going to fix it.  Most likely, you picked something that you do (or don’t do and want to start doing) every single day.  That’s a good idea!  Making something a habit is much easier if you incorporate it into your regular pattern or routine.  That’s what today’s freebie is here to help with- daily implementation.

A bubble a day…

The cheat sheet allows you to fill in one bubble every day you complete your goal.  We had a tracker for our dishes right on the kitchen refrigerator.  It was there, staring at us, telling us to do that job.  This sheet will be the same tool for you, but there’s a couple important things you need to do to be successful with your tracker:

  1. Keep it near where you are completing your goal.  This could be tricky, depending on what your goal is.  If there really is no convenient place to keep it (if your goal is happening outside your home or in a few different places within your home), then keep it right by your bed.  Tape it to the wall in your bedroom if you have to, and tape a writing implement right next to it so that you always have something to use to fill it in.
  2. This is so dorky, but it helps me to have a special pen that I use to fill in my tracker.  I don’t really know why, it just makes me happy!  Find something like this for yourself.  Maybe you don’t like pens, but maybe you do like stickers!  Find a special sheet of stickers at the dollar store or in the dollar section at Target to use only on your bubble sheet.  Sometimes a simple incentive is all you need to give yourself that extra bit of motivation.
  3. The final element to success with a bubble sheet is the hardest- commitment.  You are making an agreement with yourself that you’re going to complete this goal, and you’re using your bubble sheet to track your success, but you’ll have nothing to track if you don’t do what you need to do.

There were nights when the very last thing I wanted to do was the dishes.  But I looked at my tracker, and I thought about how I would feel in the morning, when I came downstairs to a dirty sink.  My husband and I had made a commitment to stick to something.   No one could do it for us- we had to do it.

Achieving a goal takes patience and time!
Give yourself time to achieve your goal!

Building habits takes time!

Filling in your bubbles could take some real willpower for the first two weeks, maybe even three.  When I was in school, the theory was if you did something 14 days in a row, it would become a habit.  I think they have since revised that number to 21 days.  That’s why I give myself 28 days, pretty much an entire month.  I remember thinking somewhere around day 17 of our dishes goal that it felt like routine.  It felt easy, it felt do-able, and it got done.  We’re also doing other things we never used to do like wiping down counter tops and sweeping the floor!

Break down your goal even more

However, looking at an entire month of commitment to something could probably still be too daunting.  If the idea of one month doesn’t bother you, great, but if it does, then it’s important to break down your mindset even further.  Imagine, for the time being, that you are only going to do your goal for one week.  Once that’s in your head, that temporary timeline should give you the freedom to complete those seven bubbles.  Is a week still too long?  Commit to three days.  Then another three days, and so on, and so forth.  And if you are truly having an impossible time after that first week, then it is time to go back to the drawing board and re-assess your goal.  More about that in my next post. For now, don’t forget to download the freebie.

Each new day brings the promise of a fresh start to complete your goal!
Wake up and try again!

Tomorrow is another day…

You may still miss a day in your first week or two.  It’s very important not to beat yourself up if that happens.  You are allowed to have life intervene, you are allowed to forget, you are allowed to get distracted.  Just get back on the horse.  Your bubble sheet will help you to stay on track, but it is not a magic wand.  Don’t give up on yourself.  You picked this goal for a reason- you want to make a positive change in your life!  Take a deep breath, start over again if you have to, and keep going.  And leave me a comment or send me a message to tell me how you’re doing and how it’s going!  I can’t wait to hear from you!